Who wants to eat a millionaire's?

The phrase sweet tooth doesn't really wash with me. Perhaps I'm an anomaly but I'd stick my neck out to say I have a number of very sweet teeth. My long-term greatest vice in cake is the queen of tea room cakes, the three layered delight Twix wishes it was every day...the humble but brilliant caramel shortbread.

Caramel (or millionaire's) shortbread is the equivalent of a  steak sandwich for my dad: if it's on the menu, no daily special will compare.I have to have it. About five years ago, this choice became a challenge and now I'm living the Mystic Pizza equivalent of finding the perfect Margharita: the hunt for the best caramel shortbread.

My good friend Westie, amateur pastry chef extroadinnaire, delighted me with a tray of the good stuff for my 27th birthday earlier this year. It turns out I'm not the only one unable to resist its charms. Feeling guilty, rather than generous, I left the tray (and the beacon of light surrounding it) on the 'cake cupboards' in the office. An hour later, all that was left to see was the teflon coating. I grieved the loss for days - a feeling which should give Westie a marvellous feeling of smugness: the shortbread had made the grade and most certainly, my top 5...

The final countdown:

5. The aforementioned Westie's caramel delight: (ssshh...apparently it's the Nigella recipe)

4. The here's-one-i-made-earlier, heavy on the condensed milk Blue Peter recipe from 198_..something. (One day I'll locate and post the fountain pen scrawl in my mum's recipe scrapbook)

3. Jade tea rooms, Newtown Linford, Leicestershire. Feeling guilty? Chase the gorgeous deer in neighbouring Bradgate Park - if you're lucky, you might burn off a thirty-eighth of your slice.

2. Boston Tea Party, namely - Bath branch. As this is a chain, every time I buy a slice I'm filled with a feeling that I'll be disappointed; that the recipe will have changed and, of course, that there's no way I'll be able to finish it. I'm always wrong about both of these - it's a pure delight.

1. Anne of Cleves tea rooms, Totnes. Yes, it's from my hometown, but don't let that mist your eyes. This wins hands down and is the yardstick by which all other millionaire's should be measured. 

Nx